Maybe she gets irritated always being the one who reaches out to make plans with friends, and he hates being dragged out to every party when he’d rather spend a quiet night at home. Or she thinks they should give each other space after an argument, and he’s sure the only way to solve a problem is to talk it out. Opposites may attract, but that doesn’t guarantee being together is going to be easy.
Think we’re talking about you? Then pick up The Introvert & Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract, a new book by married couple Marti Olsen Laney and Michael Laney. In it, they show you all the positives about your divergent approaches to the world. Put aside the cloying references to “innies” and “outies” in a relationship, and you’ll find this book offers some good advice about using personality differences to your advantage.
Even if you don’t fall into such distinct categories, everyone can relate to feeling a little less (or more) outgoing than their partner. Discussing how you are different can help you understand each other’s priorities and make decision-making easier. One of the benefits to having a partner who is different from you is the opportunity to empathize and use a fresh perspective to relate to the world.
We think the Laneys’ book will help you capitalize on your contrary ways and feel less like an odd couple, but we can’t promise it will make the next office holiday party or high-school reunion any easier.
